Livin’ on a Prayer

Looking back at the end of the Battle of High School and the beginning of my journey to the land of Christmas, I remember myself as much younger and less experienced in battle and in navigating these deep waters. The Battle of High School was nothing to think lowly of, as it required much determination and strength, but the journey that I was to set out on next, to discover the rare 4.0 GPA flower, would ask more of me than I had ever been asked of before. I was unsure of the path that laid before me and I knew there were sure to be unsettling waters ahead, still though I felt a thrill of excitement in my stomach at the thought of all these new lands I would see.

Setting out on my journey, I boarded the Collegiate and yelled orders to raise the masts so I might set sail for the land of Christmas and away I sailed into the night, praying to God and asking for smooth sailing.

“Do you really think that praying is going to make this journey easier or less scary? Do you actually believe that it will make any difference? If you are not prepared for this journey and the battles ahead then you will never be ready. You might as well just, “let the red stream flow and bear him home to the home he never hoped to see” if you think you might not succeed in this journey.” (Aeschylus 137)  The skipper, Sibyl says to me.

“Can I do this? Am I strong enough to withstand this journey? Maybe Sibyl is right and I’m not courageous or skilled enough to reach Christmas land..” these thoughts of doubt creep into my mind, and I sit down against the wall beginning to feel numb. Then suddenly, I see a darkness looming up ahead and the steel hand of fear grips my heart with an unwavering strength. Marty the Smarty, the god of math has been sent from the Pit of Homework which lies in the deepest parts of Hell, to try and keep me from reaching the land of Christmas.

“I will put you through several tests, young captain. Are you prepared to defeat my sea dragons: exponents, fractions, and most feared word problems?”

I am frozen in place at hearing about these demons. Many a person has been in combat with these sea dragons and failed to overcome the worst monster of all, the hydra, “word problems”. Just as I can feel the fear trying to take over, I hear the words “Be your own master” and know that “things cannot touch the mind: they are external and inert; anxieties can only come from your internal judgement.” (Aurelius 4.4) Rationalizing this I know that while I must be strong and smart when combating these sea dragons, they cannot overtake my mind with fear unless I allow them to.

“Yes” I stutter “I am prepared to defeat these monsters.”

Taking a deep breath I still my shaking hands and turn to face Marty the Smarty, he begins to laughs at my shaking hands and mocks my nervous stature, while sending the dragons my way. Quickly they swim towards my boat and begin to attack the Collegiate from all sides. The boat shakes and tips from side to side, the two scylla’s begin pushing against one side of the boat while the hydra sends massive waves to rock the boat even more. The Collegiate overturns, and begins threatening to capsize under the brutal blows from the evil word problem and other sea dragons. I grab my trustee sword, Scripto, and jump onto the back of the the first Scylla, Exponent, and dividing this dragon in half. Next I jumped over to Fraction, and slayed this dragon as well. Now all that was left was the hydra, word problems, and as I began to devise a plan in my mind of how to rid myself of him the waves became worse and worse until I was forced to act. My first try at slaying him I didn’t cut all three heads off at once and two more took it’s place. Keeping in mind my destination of the land of Christmas I rushed at the hydra again and leapt up with Scripto in hand and swung at the hydra. Landing in a tumble I looked up to see the infamous Word Problem, sink into the sea, finally accepting his defeat. Seeing all the dragons defeated, Martin resigns himself to his losing the battle and skulks back to the Pit of Homework to begin devising a plan against the next poor soul who sails through these waters.

The ship is in shambles and I can almost feel the energy seeping from me. I have no way to fix the Collegiate while we are in the middle of the ocean so I call on the God of the oceans to assist me in finding refuge on land somewhere nearby. Quickly we go “skimming over the whitecaps now” (Virgil 5.40) towards this unknown land. Soon we arrive at the Land of Happiness, ready to rest our weary bodies and minds for the night before beginning the process of rebuilding the Collegiate. Heading into the city my heart immediately feels lighter at hearing an upbeat tune accompanied by lots of laughter. As soon as the people see our group walking into their city they all pause for a moment before exclaiming in excitement. They all “gladly welcome” me and treat me with “generous care” (Virgil 5.49-51) inviting me to join in their fun and merriment. The indigenous peoples called “distractions” gave me and the crew food and beds for the night after finishing the celebration and I fell into a deep sleep.

Days and days go by filled with only the friends games and celebrations and no rebuilding of our ship. A small voice in the back of my head reminds me that the reason we initially came to this land was to build our ship so we can continue on our journey to the land of Christmas. But quickly the thought is shooed away by the fun I was having with the people. Again I go to sleep, but this time instead of dreams that fill me with peace I am filled with anxiety and a sense of fear. Dr. Jacobs voice fills my head, “Erin, you must shake yourself of this forgetfulness. You have become “lost in deluded joys” (Virgil 6.597) Remember why you came here, the land of Christmas is still a ways away and you must reach the land of Christmas in three days if you want to discover the 4.0 GPA before it disappears entirely.” I shot up out of my bed and ran to all the crew members waking them quietly, as not to awaken the friends who would no doubt want to feast and dance and celebrate even more. We grab the supplies needed to repair the ship and start to work on it. As the crew members set to work on that I begin thinking of ways to appease the people of the Land of Happiness so that we might not make enemies out of them by our leaving.

“I know! I will prepare a feast for them and set out some makeshift people that look like us.” I chuckle to myself, “They’ll be so caught up in the music and fun they won’t even notice that we aren’t here!”

Finishing up the last touches for this project, I head back over to where the ship is being rebuilt and find that much work has been accomplished but the crew members are all exhausted. Knowing that I must get away from this land before the fogginess overtakes mine and the crews minds’ again, I accept that I will have to do most all the work while the crew members rest so off we sail again. The water and wind seems to be in our favor and pushes us along faster and faster to the land of Christmas. Before I know it, the Collegiate finds land and we dock our boat before hopping off to find the 4.0 GPA. I pull out the map of the island and plan out the fastest way to navigate the land and find this rare flower. The map shows that I must trek through the Forest of Friendship and up the Molehill Mountain where at the very top the flower will be. I make my way through the forest where I am constantly followed by apparitions that look like my friends and ask me to stay with them. The temptation to stop and talk with them is overwhelming, but I remind myself over and over again my destination and the reason for my journey and I continue walking. Finally I make it to the mountain and it looks much much taller than it did just a minute ago.

“You cannot do this Erin, you aren’t strong enough to climb all the way up this. You aren’t clever enough to see past the tricks of this mountain. What are you even doing here?” The thoughts of doubt run through my mind making me feel smaller and smaller and making the mountain grow bigger and bigger till it reaches up into the clouds. I close my eyes and make my fists into balls feeling the angry tears run down my cheeks at the words my own mind is throwing at me.

“I can do this” quietly I whisper to myself “I am strong, brave, courageous, and clever” my voice begins to grow in volume the longer I speak. Opening my eyes I am shocked at seeing the mountain begin to shrink.

“The Molehill Mountain is only as big as you allow it to be” I hear Dr. Jacobs voice say, “if you see it as some daunting and impossible task then that is what it will be, but if you see it for what it truly is, just a molehill, then that is what it becomes.” I turn to my right to find Dr. Jacobs standing beside me looking down at what was once the mountain. But now the mountain has become only a small molehill and growing right behind it is the flower I had journeyed all this way for, the 4.0 GPA. Carefully I dig it up from the ground and place it in my pack before turning to make my way back to the Collegiate and sail forwards to the next destination..